question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
