you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
