big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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