You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
