but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
