Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Someone shit on the floor
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
