i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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