After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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