20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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