Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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