the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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