Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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