just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
