My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
