Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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