you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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