called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
