Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
