if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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