a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
