In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
