So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
