Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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