youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
