The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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