id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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