I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
