You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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