For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize