What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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