Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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