Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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