You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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