If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
