seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
