Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
