called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize