when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
