They should really pass out barf bags in church
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
