OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
