I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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