You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
