New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
someone owes me an orgasm
In America we eat man semen.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
