it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
