yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
