Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
