so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
