shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
