Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
