i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
