SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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