You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize