no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
