quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
