after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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