We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
