and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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